


Family Guys: Part Two

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon, Minor Character Death, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-05-22
Updated: 2005-05-28
Packaged: 2018-12-27 13:25:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12081945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Family Guys is BACK! This is the sequel to Family Guys and yes you need to read that one before you read this one or you will be majorly confused. I hope you guys enjoy this second part and give lots of feedback--it helps keep me going!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Weeks went by after the incident at Brian’s loft, and they had both decided to remain friends. They became such good friends that it was rare to see either man somewhere without the other, and the miniature of Justin following a long as well. They frequented local museums, parks, and even grocery stores. Brian had felt so at ease with Justin and Jacob—not because they took the place of Katie and Gus, but because they helped to ward off the pain of them. It was the thoughts of how happy he had been lately that led him to the odd realization that he hadn’t been to Babylon in over a month. He decided that wasn’t a healthy venture and so he was just about to call Justin and invite him out for the evening when the phone rang. Brian picked it up and couldn’t believe what he had heard. He didn’t hear the phone slip from his grip as he slid to the floor in front of the sofa.

This was how Justin found Brian when he entered the loft using the key Brian had given him a few weeks before. He was dressed to go out knowing that Brian hadn’t been out in a while and Daphne had taken Jacob for the night. He stopped in his tracks as he saw Brian on the floor tears running down his face. Justin approached carefully and sat down next to Brian. He began rubbing slow circles on Brian’s back. Brian turned his head toward Justin and stared at him with tortured hazel eyes. Justin pulled the man to him and his heart broke as Brian’s body shuddered against his. He could feel the tears on his shoulder as they soaked through the fabric of his shirt. Brian cried and cried and Justin didn’t try to get any information out of him it would be pointless—Brian wouldn’t be able to talk. Justin gently led Brian to the bedroom and lay him down. The man was emotionally exhausted. Brian looked up at Justin as tears still streamed from his eyes. Justin gently ran his fingers through Brian’s hair and watched the man drift into a painful sleep. 

Justin left Brian in the bedroom and made his way out into the living room. He noticed the phone on the floor and picked it up. He checked the caller ID. 

Marcus, Melanie

Justin’s heart raced. Something had happened to one of the kids—he had to know. He dialed the number quickly and a tired voice picked up. Justin knew it wasn’t either of the girls. 

“Hello?”

“Uh...Hello, this is Justin Taylor…” Justin stammered. “I’m a friend of Brian Kinney’s…”

“Mr. Taylor this isn’t really a good time…”

“Brian’s a wreck. He can’t even talk to me…I can’t help him if I don’t know what happened…did something happen to one of the kids?” Justin held his breath not sure he wanted to hear the answer. 

“Mr. Taylor…were you friends Melanie and Lindsay?”

“I knew them.”

There came an audible sigh over the phone and then the person on the other side took a deep breath.

“I’m Lindsay’s Mother. Mrs. Peterson. I…I…the girls were in a car crash. Lindsay and Gus are both…gone. Katie wasn’t with them.” The woman’s voice held the strain of tears. 

“And Melanie…”

“She…” the strain was replaced by a fierce anger. “She was drunk. She ran a red light and hit another car head on. She has minor injuries. She’s in police custody now—she’ll be tried for Vehicular manslaughter.”

Justin’s breath was completely gone his whole heart felt as it was being crushed…Gus…Lindsay…oh god…Katie. He clutched the phone tightly.

“What about Katie?”

“Brian is still her legal guardian.” Lindsay’s mother spoke softly. “He…he can come get her when he’s able. She’s been asking about him. The funeral is in two days. If Melanie is convicted—she’ll go to prison with a 10-year minimum. Brian…”

“We’ll be down there in a few days to pick her up. Can you have her things ready?”

“Yes.” The woman’s voice was calmer now. “Mr. Taylor…”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.” Mrs. Peterson said. “It’s hard…seeing her every day—she doesn’t know me and it’s harder for her…”

“I understand. I’ll call you with the flight information.”

He hung up the phone and put himself into work mode. He had to be strong for Brian. There was no way the man would be able to make the trip like this. Justin logged on to Brian’s computer and got them a flight set up for tomorrow morning. He would have to take Jacob with him there was nobody to take care of him on such short notice. He called Daphne and had her take Jacob home and pack suitcases for them both and bring them to Brian’s he told her as much as he could without breaking down. With the hotel information and plane reservations printed out he went to Brian’s room and began packing Brian’s things as well. After he had finished he began to fix dinner for himself and Brian and Jacob. However, once Dinner was cooking Justin found himself with nothing to do and the emotions rushed at him. The sadness washed over him like a tidal wave and Justin slid to the floor and cried and cried. He cried for Lindsay, and Gus, and Katie, and Brian. He cried so hard he began to feel sick and quickly found himself in the bathroom and vomiting in the toilet. Images of Gus played before him like a tragic movie. That first day he had seen him and every day afterwards. The love he felt for Gus had become such a crushing wait he couldn’t help but collapse beneath it. He had known the boy for less than a year—and yet he felt like he had lost his own son. He stood and washed his face in the sink. He exited the bathroom only to find Brian staring at him. 

They looked at each other for a long time and finally Justin spoke his voice shaky.

“I…I…needed to know…what…I called Mrs. Peterson…and…and…” Justin’s voice broke and he felt the tears again on his face and Brian opened his arms as his own tears fell. They in the bed holding each other as the tears flowed with a fervor that neither had experienced before.


	2. Family Guys: Part Two

Brian sat in the window seat staring out into the clouds. Justin sat next to him and Jacob, who was sleeping, sat on Justin’s right. Brian hadn’t said a word the tears had stopped eventually—Justin saw the change in Brian and it broke his heart all over again. Brian hadn’t known Justin was there early this morning as Brian stood in the bedroom and gently removed the picture of himself holding Gus from the night he was born from it’s frame and slipped the picture in his pocket before following Justin out the door. Justin saw that Brian’s right hand was still buried deep inside his pocket, it hadn’t moved from that pocket since. Brian had been withdrawn and shown no emotion since they had left the loft and he hadn’t spoken a word.  
Justin had called Mrs. Peterson to tell them when they would be arriving and she said she would have her husband meet them at the airport. Mrs. Peterson had told Justin that she had contacted all of Melanie and Lindsay’s friends in Pittsburg and most of them would arrive tomorrow. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like for a mother to have to retell the tragedy of her daughter and grandson’s death to so many people—and to listen to them cry afterwards.   
Justin was pulled from his thoughts as he felt Brian’s hand grip his and he looked into the older man’s eyes. He saw the pain there that Brian had been so desperately trying to hide and he had to fight hard to keep his own tears at bay. Justin gripped Brian’s hand and then lifted the armrest up so that he could pull Brian to him. Brian’s head lay on his shoulder and Justin ran his fingers through the dark brown hair. He felt the hot tears on his shoulder and then Brian spoke. 

“It’s not fair.” Brian’s voice was raspy, dry, and raw with emotion. A choked sob came from the man as he buried his face deeper into Justin’s shoulder. Justin wrapped the man up in his embrace and spoke in a low and gentle tone.

“I know it’s not fair, baby, I know.” He rubbed gentle circles on Brian’s back. He pulled Brian’s face to him and wiped away streaming tears. He was surprised Brian had lasted as long as he did. Brian took a deep breath and started to pull away from Justin. “No.” Justin said recognizing the emotional withdrawal Brian was attempting. “No. Don’t hide this.”

“I have to be strong, I have to be strong for Katie.” Brian said his voice shaking, he looked away as the tears fell from his eyes and took another shuddering breath. 

“Brian look at me.” Brian turned and faced Justin. “You don’t have to be strong, he was your son, she was your friend, and you loved them both too much. You have a right to be hurting. You have a right to fall apart.” Justin told him. “You cry and you fall apart, Brian, and let me be the strong one. Let me help you.”

Brian stared for a long time and then pulled Justin into a tight embrace and whispered in his ear. “I need you to stay with me, promise me you will stay.” Justin squeezed the man impossibly closer.

“I will stay, forever, I promise.” 

\--------------

They had waited for everyone else to clear out before they approached the coffins. Justin could feel Brian shaking and did his best to comfort the man as they came to the coffins. Justin who was holding Jacob’s hand and carrying Katie stopped and put the little girl down when they were a few feet away. He told Jacob to hold Katie’s hand.

“Jake, baby, watch Katie for a minute okay?” Jacob nodded and Justin turned to Katie. “Katie can you stay with Jake for a minute?” receiving another nod Justin stood and took Brian’s hand and the walked the few feet to the coffins. Brian approached Lindsay’s first and stared down at the coffin the lid closed with a picture of the beautiful blonde lain on the top of it. He began to speak and as Justin started to move away Brian held tighter to his hand, Justin stayed there and listened to Brian’s anguished good-bye.

“Lindsay. I…I’m so sorry that I never told you how much I love you…and how much it meant to me that you wanted me to be the father of your children. I’m so sorry that I wasn’t the father you wanted me to be…the father that I should be. But I promise you…I promise you Lindsay that I will change…that I will be better for Katie…I promise that she will know that you loved her…and that Gus loved her….I promise you that I will give her everything she needs and wants and I promise she’ll never get hurt…I’ll protect her…I’ll keep her safe…the way I should have kept you and Gus safe…I promise…” Brian’s tears stopped him from speaking any more and he leaned down and gently kissed the wood coffin and lay his white rose on the top. 

He took in a deep breath and turned toward the smaller casket his arm tightly around Justin’s waist. He stared down at the coffin and said nothing he stood for several minutes unable to speak, unable to comprehend…he was gone, his beautiful laughing boy was gone. 

“Gus…baby boy…I love you so much. Why did you leave me so soon? You were supposed to come this summer. I made you a new room and Justin painted the walls with the powerpuff girls just for you baby, just for you. I shouldn’t have let you go. I shouldn’t…” Brian fell to his knees his head resting against the wood as the sobs wrecked his body. Justin knelt next to him and pulled him close. Suddenly Katie came running toward them and to Brian. Brian turned to his little girl and pulled her into a hug. Katie looked up at Brain and with her tiny hand wiped tears from Brian’s face. She looked at him with his own eyes and then tilted her head to the side slightly.

Her voice was soft. “Don’t cry—daddy. Gus in heaven—mommy and him is a’gels” she pointed one hand at the sky. “Gramma said they happy there cos there is lots of sunshine.”

“You’re right baby doll, there’s lots of sunshine there, lots of sunshine.” Brian looked at his little girl and hugged her tight—she was his only link to Gus, and to Lindsay. 

The too men stood and with Brian carrying Katie and Justin holding Jacob’s hand they started to walk away when Brian stopped suddenly. He knelt down and reached into his right pocket pulling out the photograph. 

“Jacob, come here.” The young boy let go of Justin’s hand and made his way over to Brian. Brian handed Jacob the picture and nodded his head. Niether spoke but Justin watched as Brian stood and then they both turned and watched Jacob walk back to the caskets and gently lay the picture on the smaller one. Jacob kissed his fingers and then touched them to the casket before walking back to the two men and Katie.

Justin was buckling Katie into the car when somebody called out Brian’s name. Brian turned and saw Melanie standing about twenty feet away. Brian nodded to Justin who finished buckling Katie and Jacob into the car and then got in the driver’s seat as Brian made his way to where Melanie stood. 

\---

Melanie’s face was tear stained and she looked like she had aged 10 years. She was wearing a sweat suit and had dark circles under her eyes.

“Brian…I…” she shook her head and looked back toward the car. “I…I wasn’t drunk…I…”

“I know, Mel, the police said you were just barely under the legal limit.” Brian’s voice was even.

“I wasn’t…Brian believe me…I would never…” Melanie’s voice shook. “I was—we had been celebrating…Lindsay had just gotten a show at this huge gallery…we drank champagne…Lindsay said she didn’t want to drive and so I…I…I wasn’t drunk…we were laughing…about something…we were just going to pick up Katie…and…Gus was telling us about something and I turned to look at him just for a second…just a second…and then…” Melanie’s voice broke and she could no longer control the tears. Brian pulled her to him and held the sobbing woman close. 

“Mel…I know.” Brian said. “I know. But you need to pull yourself together and you have to…”

“Why?” She looked up at Brian. “What do I have left?”

“Katie. You have her.” 

“No. I can’t…after…I can’t trust myself…please…please take care of her.” Melanie pulled away from Brian and began to walk in the other direction.

“Don’t walk away from her Melanie! She needs you, now!” Brian was angry.

“Take care of her Brian…love her.” And Melanie walked away got into her car and drove off. Brian stood staring at the car as it disappeared around a corner and then made his way back to the car. He got in and sat staring out the windshield as Justin pulled the car onto the road. He turned and watched from his window as cemetery workers lowered his son, and his best friend, the only women he ever loved, into the ground. Part of him wanted to scream at those men—how dare they…and yet the other part knew what it meant. Knew that they were really gone. Brian stared at the men for a long time and then spoke silently to himself. 

‘Enjoy the sunshine sonny-boy and take care of you momma for me. I’ll take care of your baby sister—you take care of momma.’


	3. Family Guys: Part Two

Brian lay in bed thinking about the past two weeks and he felt a wave of guilt wash over him. Justin had taken time off work to stay here, and had all but moved in with Brian and Katie. Justin had been his savior—the best friend he’d ever had. Even when Michael returned from his far away home with the lovely professor, Brian had still felt safer with Justin and Michael’s offer to move in had been disregarded. Brian could smell Justin’s breakfast coming from outside the bedroom and could hear Jacob and Katie’s laughter as it floated up from the apartment below. Brian had become very pensive as of late. And as he lay in his bed listening to sounds he never thought he’d hear in his house he felt happy for a moment and then the pain washed over him again. His whole world had come down to this—fighting to be happy, or happier…and then hating himself when he finally was. His thoughts landed briefly on work and he wondered how things were progressing—not that they really needed them there. Cynthia could handle the day to day. “We need you here, Katie needs you here.” That’s what Justin had told him, and so he had taken an extended leave and stayed home with his daughter.   
Brian got out of bed and moved to the bathroom. As he stood in the shower letting the hot water rain down on him he fought to keep the pain at bay. Gus. He remembered the night he was born—how wasted he was and how the sight of his son had knocked the breath out of him. He remembered how his heart had swelled the minute Gus had said “daddy” and he remember that last phone call “Daddy—I wanna come home…I don’t like it here.” Brian couldn’t withhold the tears any longer and he leaned his head against the shower wall as the sobs over took his body. 

\---

Justin had come up to the bedroom to tell Brian breakfast was ready and he heard the man’s sobbing even over the shower’s drone. He moved quickly back to the kitchen and prepared plates for the kids and took them downstairs. He told the kids to stay down here and eat until Justin came back. Justin made his way back up the stairs and into the bathroom; he grabbed a towel off the rack and moved toward the shower. He opened the door to find Brian sitting on the floor his knees bent into his chest and his head on his knees. Justin turned off the water and then moved toward Brian. He pulled the man up and held him tight against his body. He gently dried the man off and then wrapped him in the towel. Once back in the bedroom Brian had calmed down once again and he looked at the blonde man, embarrassed.

“I’m sorry—you shouldn’t have to…” Brian started not looking at Justin.

“Don’t be sorry…” Justin gave Brian a slight smile. “When else would I be able to see you in all your glory?”

Brian smirked.

“So, I see the rumors are true then?” Justin’s smile broadened and he raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Brian pushed Justin who fell back onto the bed and laughed. “What Mr. Kinney afraid that you won’t live up to Liberty’s TALL tales?”

Brian fell on top of the blonde and grabbed both of Justin’s hands holding them above his head. “Half of Liberty knows the truth from experience so the rumors are probably accurate.”

“And the other half” Justin smiled up at Brian.

“They’re either trolls or munchers.”

“And what about me? I don’t know from experience.” Justin smirked. “So does that make me a troll or a muncher?” 

Brian paused and looked at the blonde man—wanting so badly to do exactly what’d he’d wanted since the first day he’d laid eyes on him…but he couldn’t. Brian gently rested his forehead and let his eyes get lost in the blue ocean of Justin’s. “I can’t.”

“You won’t.” Justin said quietly. 

“Justin…” Brian’s voice was desperate. 

“It’s okay.” Justin rolled away from Brian and stood up. He turned back and held out his hand to Brian. “Come on—Breakfast is ready.”

\---

Later that night Justin was coming up the stairs after putting the kids to bed. He was tired and going to tell Brian good night before retiring to his guestroom. He came up to find Brian on the couch staring at the blank television. Justin moved and sat next to Brian, on the coffee table in front of them laid a half-empty bottle of Jim Beam and a picture of Gus and Lindsay. Brian grabbed the bottle and took a long swing from it before setting it back down. Justin could tell from Brian’s overly accentuated motions that he was already a little bit intoxicated and it killed him. 

“Bri…maybe you should go to bed.” 

“Why sunshine?” Brian’s voice was low and bitter. “If you let me get drunk enough you could have your way with me and I wouldn’t put up a fight.”

“Fuck you, Brian.” Justin looked away from the man. 

“Too late, blue eyes, I’m already fucked.”

They sat silently for a few minutes. Justin watched as Brian took swig after swig from the bottle. Then suddenly Brian took the bottle and it’s limited contents and launched it at the adjacent wall. The liquid and glass shattered loudly causing Justin to jump. 

“For Christ sake Brian! You’re going to wake up the kids.” 

Brian stared at the glass that littered the floor and his face changed. The guilt of scaring his little girl, and Jacob broke him and he couldn’t stop the tears from trailing down his cheeks. Those kids didn’t need him to keep screwing things up for them. And then suddenly he thought of the kids coming up here during the night and somehow stepping on the glass—within seconds Brian was on his feet. He moved to the glass and began scooping it up in his hand not paying any attention to the shards that were digging into his skin. He couldn’t let the kids get hurt. 

Justin moved quickly to where Brian was. And pulled the man away from the glass. He looked at Brian’s hands and the blood that was pooling in them and nearly dragged the man to the bathroom. He put Brian’s hands under the faucet and cringed when Brian flinched as the water cascaded over his wounds. Justin got the tweezers and slowly began to pull tiny shards of glass out of Brian’s palm. He rinsed Brian’s hands again and then took the peroxide out and poured it liberally over his hands. Watching as it bubbled Justin felt so suddenly tired and hurting. He found a first aide kit in Brian’s cabinet and pulled out some bandages and wrapped Brian’s hands and then moved them into Brian’s bedroom. He put Brian to bed and then went out into the living room to clean up the glass, and blood. He returned to the bedroom and set next to Brian on the bed. He brushed hair out of Brian’s eyes. Brian stared up at Justin and tears leaked from the corners of his eyes. 

“Why are you doing this Brian?”

“I don’t want to hurt anymore. I don’t—” Brian took a deep shuddering breath and Justin wiped the tears from his face. “I don’t want to cry anymore.” 

“It will get better, baby, I promise.” 

“How can you promise?” Brian stared a slight glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“Because you’re so full of love Brian, and you love Katie.” Justin said. “And it’s because of your love that you’re hurting—but you’ll see that by loving Katie you’re loving Gus and Lindsay too.”

“It just hurts.” Brian looked away. “Sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe.”

“You’re still breathing, Bri.”

Justin moved to stand but Brian grabbed his wrist. 

“Please stay with me tonight”

Justin nodded and got in to the bed and under the covers as Brian raised them for him. Brian pulled Justin close feeling better having Justin in his arms. 

“Justin…” Brian’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Why are you here?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why did you do all this? Move in with me…take off work…go with me to Florida?”

“Because…” Justin sighed, “Because I loved Gus, and I love Katie, and…” he hesitated. “And I love you.”

Justin held his breath and waited for Brian to kick him out or something. He didn’t know what to expect but he didn’t expect was—

“Me too, Sunshine.”


	4. Family Guys: Part Two

It was nearing three o’clock in the morning and Justin was pacing the loft. The kids had been asleep for hours both of them asking where Brian was. Justin was angry, scared, tired, and everything in between. Brian had better have a good excuse for this—because Justin wasn’t sure how much more he could take. He picked up his glass of beam from the counter and swallowed the rest. He turned around just in time to watch Brian stumble through the loft door. 

Justin could smell him from four feet away, booze, Babylon, and sex. He knew the smell he had worn it a few times himself. Justin stared icily at Brian who straightened himself slightly and looked defiantly at Justin.

“Hey there blue eyes.” Brian wasn’t trashed, but he wasn’t sober either.

“Where the fuck have you been?”

“Don’t go hetero on me, sunshine.” Brian said carelessly, “You aren’t my fucking wife.”

“Katie had a nightmare tonight.” Justin watched as Brian’s demeanor instantly changed. His eyes got wide with a painful fear and all of the cockiness left his attitude, He moved toward the stairs but Justin stopped him. “She’s sleeping now. And you can’t go down there like that.”

“Like what?” Brian’s voice was sharp but soft.

“Like sex, and alcohol.”

It was quiet for a minute and Justin watched the shame fall across Brian’s features. He had been doing so well before tonight, and Justin wondered what had changed. Justin had no idea what it was that had made Brian resort to this type of behavior—but he assumed there was a reason he figured Brian would either tell him or he wouldn’t. He wasn’t going to push him—but he remembered how proud Brian had been of himself, that he was becoming a better parent, a better person. Justin watched the taller man drop to the sofa and stare across the loft, his entire body tense. Justin left Brian on the sofa and went to the kitchen and made some coffee. He watched across the small bar/island as Brian made no move at all. Justin finished preparing the coffee and moved to where Brian sat. He held the cup of coffee out to him and Brian took it and gulped down a large drink.

“He’d have been 5 today.” Brian’s voice was heavy with anger and pain that would probably never go away. “I bought him plane tickets—I was going to have him for almost a month. And if it went well…I was going to talk to Mel and Linds about letting him stay up here…”

Justin said nothing he just stared at Brian and watched the coffee cup tremble in the older man’s hand. They were quiet again and then suddenly Brian set the coffee cup on the table and stood. He walked to the window and stood staring out at the night. He wondered to himself when it was going to stop hurting this much—when he was going to be able to remember Gus and not have it hurt so much. 

“It takes time, Brian.”

Brian turned and looked at Justin with a look of pure surprise on his face. Justin didn’t acknowledge it. 

“It’s only been a few months. It’ll get better.” Justin took a deep breath. “I had a friend who told me that he didn’t view death as the tragedy that we do. He told me that—even if the circumstances are unfair—after a person dies we should spend less time mourning their absence and more time celebrating the time they had.”

Brian was quiet but the tension in his body seemed to have drained somewhat. Justin approached Brian and led him to the bedroom. 

“Get some sleep. Things will get better, baby, I promise.” 

Brian stared, mute, at the man sitting next to him on the bed. He felt the soft fingers close around his own and felt such a comfort in his touch, that he wondered how he’d ever been able to survive without him. He felt Justin kiss his cheek and then leave the room. Brian laid down on the bed and drifted to sleep the last thought in his mind was that he would give his everything to make sure Katie, and Jacob—and Justin had everything they needed or wanted. He had to take care of them—for Gus.

The next morning he woke to the smell of pancakes and laughing kids. He wandered lazily out into the living room and found them eating syrupy pancakes around his 7,000 dollar table and playing Jenga. Another loud round of laughter exploded as Justin pulled a piece out of their tower and it toppled over sending a tiny wooden piece into Justin’s syrupy plate. They were all laughing so hard their faces were red—Justin looked up at Brian and gave him a sunshine smile and held up the syrup covered piece.

“Want some?”


	5. Family Guys: Part Two

It was now or never--the kids were with Daphne, Brian was at work. But, Justin was torn. He stood at the top of the stairs of the loft and tried to convince himself to do what he knew he needed to do. Four months. Four months of his life and Jake’s life spent in this loft, and he was near tears at the thought of leaving. He had been back to his own house a few times since he had starting staying with Brian and Katie—and every time he did it felt less and less like he belonged there. Justin stared down at the tan-ish carpeting of the second floor of the loft and the images from the past months flashed before his eyes.

Flashback

“10—9—8—7—6—5…” Justin stood in the kitchen in the upstairs of the loft, eyes covered, counting as loud as possible. “4—3—2—1—READY OR NOT HERE I COME!” 

Justin took of around the top floor of the loft scanning anywhere and everywhere for his prey. He opened all the closet doors and shoved Brian’s Armani suits to the side. Nothing. He snuck into the bathroom quiet and opened the shower door quickly. Nothing. Finally giving up the first floor he headed down the stairs. Methodically he checked each of the two guest bedrooms. Shit. Nothing. He made it to the kids’ bedroom when he heard muffled giggling coming from the coat closet in the hallway. Justin turned on his heels and made his way back to the closet. He slowly turned the knob and the giggling grew slightly louder. He pulled open the door to find three pairs of feet peaking out from underneath a collection of hanging winter jackets. Justin spread the clothing apart with his hands and found laughing hazel eyes and a smirk to go along with it. Brian stood as far back in the closet as he could. Katie on his left, Jacob on his right. Each of them were now giggling uncontrollably and had one of Brian’s large hands covering their mouths. Justin cracked up at the sight and Brian released the kids. Both of them took off up the stairs.

Katie screamed as she went along “DADDY’s IT!”

Justin stood staring at a grinning Brian who raised his eyebrows and then winked at the blonde.

“Why Mr. Kinney, I can’t believe you’re still in the closet.” Justin’s smile grew bigger.

END FLASHBACK 

Justin was jarred out of his thoughts when Brian spoke. 

“Forget how to use the stairs, Blue eyes?”

Justin was startled and turned quickly without thinking to hide the tears that had been falling endlessly from his eyes. 

“I…I…didn’t hear you come in.” Justin quickly wiped his eyes and turned away from Brian, leaning against a wall.

“Justin, What’s wrong?” Justin felt Brian’s hand on his shoulder and the tears began anew.

“Nothing,” Justin shook his head.

“You’re fucking crying…there is something wrong.” Justin’s entire body shook and he slid down the wall until he was sitting on his knees, he covered his face with his hands and desperately tried to control the sobs that were tearing through his body.

“I can’t do it…I thought…I was…I can’t.” Justin’s words were broken by his sobs.

“Justin, listen, just breathe—what can’t you do?” Brian was now kneeling next to Justin gently rubbing his shoulders. Justin looked up his blue eyes shining with tears.

“I can’t be your friend.” Justin looked away before he saw the blantant fear that crossed the hazel eyes in front of him.

Brian’s heart stopped at that. He couldn’t lose Justin. It would be too much, he didn’t know what he would do. His eyes never left Justin.

“Why?” his voice was so quiet he was amazed Justin heard him. 

“Because…I’m falling for you, Brian.” Justin struggled out, “And…and if I stay…things will get worse between us.”

Justin stood quickly before Brian could react and was down the stairs before Brian even stood up. 

Justin was in his room and he quickly through everything he needed into his suitcase, all the while tears flooded his vision. He was just about to empty his last drawer when the door opened and Brian stepped in. 

“Justin.” Brian moved toward him and soon there was less than a few inches between them. “I…”

Justin turned to face Brian quickly.

“Brian…I know you don’t fuck your friends. You told me as much. I know you care about me. And I know—that that is HUGE for you.” Justin continued before he lost his nerve. “But I will fall in love with you if I’m here. And I can’t let myself…get hurt because you won’t love me. I’ve been hurt enough to know that one more break and I won’t be able to put the pieces back together.”

Justin turned back to his packing his hands slightly shaking. Suddenly he felt himself being turned around and found himself facing Brian once again. Justin stared into the cloudy hazel eyes and then he felt his lips being crushed by Brian’s. The kiss was intense and when they finally pulled back they were both breathing in heavily.

“Stay.”

Justin nodded. Brian leaned forward and placed another soft kiss on Justin’s lips and the put his hands on Justin’s waist and slid them up under the t-shirt the blonde wore. Justin helped Brian pull the shirt over his head and then went to work on the other man’s shirt. He leaned forward and kissed the newly revealed skin as he unbuttoned each button. Finally Brian pulled the shirt over his head. They came together for another breathtaking kiss, the skin of their chests searing into the each other’s. Brian pulled back and began undoing Justin’s jeans. They slid down his legs and as Justin stepped out his shoes, underwear and pants, Brian rid himself of his as well. Brian stepped back to look at the man standing before him.

“You’re so beautiful.” Brian’s eyes grazed Justin’s body and then found the blue eyes. “So beautiful”

Justin reached out and pulled Brian into another crushing kiss. Quickly they pushed the suitcase on to the ground all of the contents spilling out, and then fell to the bed. Brian kissed his way down Justin’s body, but before he got past his belly button Justin growled at him.

“Baby, enough foreplay, I need you inside of me.”

Justin leaned over and grabbed a condom and some lube from the drawer of the bedside table. He opened the condom and pulled Brian up for a quick kiss. He carefully unrolled the condom over Brian’s straining cock and with his hand smoothed a liberal amount of lube with a few quick strokes. Brian positioned Justin’s legs on his shoulders and looked into the deep blues before gently pushing into Justin. Brian felt Justin’s fingers tighten momentarily in response to the intrusion. He watched Justin until he saw the blonde relax and then began slowly pushing in further. At first Brian’s strokes were slow but Justin began pushing into Brian harder until Brian quickened the pace. Brian could sense Justin was on the edge, as was he, and he closed his hand around Justin’s dick. He matched his hand movements to his own and with a few quick thrusts—Brian saw stars. He felt Justin cum in his hand and then Brian collapsed onto the blonde. He began to move away when Justin’s arms enveloped him, stopping further movement.

“Stay.”

Brian remained where he was and then looked down at the beautiful blonde. 

“Let me love you?” Justin’s voice was questioning, pleading. Brian took a deep breath, nodded, and laid his head gently against Justin’s chest listening to the heartbeat of the man he loved.


	6. Family Guys: Part Two

There was a quiet knocking on the door and both men groaned outwardly, too tired emotionally and physically to be inclined to move. Slowly the door opened and Katie peeked in.

“Jus’n” She opened the door a little wider. “Jus’n…DADDY!” The young girl launched herself on the bed and crawled toward the two men. Katie snuggled up on Brian’s right side and looked up at him and then toward Justin.

“Were you tiwerd, Daddy?” she asked. “Jus’n let me sleep with him sometimes when I tiwerd.”

Brian laughed a little. “Yeah baby girl. I was tired. But I’m up now. How about you and I make dinner for Justin and Jacob?”

“Yeah!” Katie said rolling away from Brian so she could crawl down off of the bed. “We should wake Jacob…His naps are always longer than mine!”

\------

Brian and Justin sat on the sofa together watching “Dirty Dancing.” It was getting late and Justin yawned and the stretched his arms hopefully Brian got the hint. He did. He turned off the tv and then stood and lead Justin to the bedroom. Justin lay on the bed and was asleep in minutes. Brian lay down next to him and pulled him close. He thought to himself how much time he had wasted, even after he swore he wouldn’t do that anymore. He watched the blonde sleep and traced and fading pink scar that ran along the blonde’s shoulder blade and the stopped to look at it closer. He’d seen it several times over the past few weeks, in bed, in the shower, when he watched Justin paint. He looked at it now and cringed. The scar ran at least 5 inches long. And from the looks of it, it was pretty brutal. The scar’s edges were ragged and uneven. Brian kissed that spot and cursed Ethan before laying down to sleep.

\------

By the time Justin woke up Brian was already off to work. Justin went to the bathroom and found a note taped on the mirror.

Blue Eyes,  
Went in early. Have a nice day. If you get a chance take Jake and Katie shopping for school I left the card on the table- call me if you want to argue. 

Later-  
B

Smiled and decided he wouldn’t argue with Brian, but that he would pitch in his own for something eventually. Brian’s note reminded him that both Katie and Jake would be starting school in two days and then Justin would go back to work. He loved being with the kids but he missed his work. The museum had been more the generous by giving him extended leave but now he was ready to go back. 

Justin was making breakfast for the kids when Jacob climbed the stairs and smiled sleepily at Justin. 

“Mornin’ Daddy.”

“Mornin’ buddy.”

Justin smiled at his beautiful little boy and was about to ask him to help when there was a knock on the front door. 

“Jake you want to go see who that is? I don’t want to leave breakfast to burn.” Jake nodded and then made his way over to the door and pulled it open. From where he stood Justin couldn’t see the door. And he could barely hear Jake’s chatter when it suddenly stopped. The whole loft went quiet and Justin got a surge of panic. He moved to the door forgetting about the eggs that simmered in the frying pan and turned the corner to come face to face with a sight that made his heart break and fear explode in his mind.

A man with dark curly hair and a slight gotee, wearing black pants and a slate grey turtle neck stood just inside the doorway. Jacob was in his arms holding a shiney blue ball. Jacob turned to look at Justin and smiled widely holding the ball out toward Justin.

“Look at this! Daddy! He gave it to me! It’s so pretty!” Jacob went silent again admiring the ball’s shine and smooth texture. 

“ I see it.” Justin’s voice was calm and but his eyes reflected a cold panic. Ethan took a step forward and Justin didn’t flinch. His mind raced with possible ways to get Jacob away from him. Jake didn’t know, he was too young and had been shielded from most of it and for that Justin was grateful. But now, his son was too trusting, too close to him. 

“Jake, come here baby, breakfast is about ready.” Justin’s tone was even and Ethan’s eyes sparkled with understanding. He set Jacob down and Jake came wandering over to Justin glancing back at Ethan. Justin leaned down and pulled Jake a little closer.

“I want you to go downstairs okay. And you stay down there until I come get you. I want to talk to—my friend.” Justin said. And then a little quieter enough so Ethan didn’t hear. “And make sure Katie stays down there too.”

Jacob waved good-bye to Ethan and then went quietly downstairs carrying his ball. Justin stared at Ethan unable to say anything. 

“Friends are we?” Ethan’s voice held laughter and mockery.

“Why are you here?”

“I was missing you. I was missing our boy. I found your address but apparently you don’t stay there anymore. And all I had to do was walk into any place on Liberty to find out exactly where you were, I assumed I would a whore like you gets around. Living the high life now I see. Got a sugar daddy for you and Jakey?”

“Ethan please, just leave.”

“I don’t think so, Jay, I mean we’ve been apart so long…” Ethan moved quickly and grabbed Justin kissing him forcefully. Justin pulls himself away but Ethan grabs him and brings his arm up to slap him hard. Justin totters a little and then regains his footing. He backs away but Ethan comes at him harder. Pushing him to the ground Ethan lands another punch in Justin’s stomach. He begins pawing at Justin’s pants but Justin kicks wildly. Ethan stands abruptly and just as Justin begins to move away brings his foot hard against the side of Justin’s ribcage. Justin falls. Blood is now dripping from his nose and mouth onto the floor. Ethan brings his foot against Justin’s side again and Justin crumples onto the floor. In his head he is silently begging that Jake and Katie stay down stairs. Praying to the God he gave up on.

Out of the corner of his eye Justin sees a flash of Jake’s blue shirt on the stairs. Oh god….Justin’s mind races. Jake’s face comes into view. The look of concern is laced with anger and Justin knowing his son, the same boy who punched another kid because the kid had ruthlessly smashed an anthill, he could tell Jake was about ready to attack Ethan. Jake looked at Justin and Justin gave him the look he reserved for when Jake was about to do something and breathed release as Jake scurried down the stairs. He cursed his distraction when he noticed that it had given Ethan time to undo Justin’s pants. Justin let himself slip into the same place he used to all the time—the place where none of this was happening to him, it was almost like watching it on a made-for-tv movie. 

Downstairs, Jake was crying. He had to help daddy. He had to help him. That bad man. Jake went to Katie’s room and made sure she was still sleeping. He saw Daddy’s cellphone sitting on the bedside table and remembered Daddy putting it there when he had read them a story. He picked up the phone and remembered Daddy showing him how to talk to it. Daddy had even let him tell the phone to call Brian. Jake pushed the button Daddy showed him that day and spoke quietly into the phone.

“Brian.” The phone beeped. Jake didn’t want to say it to loud the bad man might here him. He tried again. “Brian” a beep. “BRIAN” the phone began ringing and Jake brought the phone to his ear.

\---

Brian looked at his cellphone and saw “Justin Cell” come up on his caller ID he smiled and prepared himself to argue with the blonde about the credit card. 

“Justin…Just go buy the kids…” Brian was interrupted by a very distraught voice on the other end of the telephone.

“Brian…*sniffle*” Jake spoke very quietly. “Come home, come home right now.” 

Brian immediately stood from his desk and grabbed his coat while asking. “Jake…what’s wrong baby, why do I need to come home?” 

“There…there’s a bad man here. And he gave me a blue bouncy ball but he’s being mean to daddy. And daddy is crying.” Jake spoke quickly. 

“Jake…why is daddy crying?” Brian’s heart was pounding and he walked past Cynthia’s desk and out the front door with out a word. Holding his hand up to anyone who attempted to speak to him.

“The bad man is hurting him. There is red stuff all on the floor. Daddy is telling him ‘no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no’ saying the bad man is a bastard. What’s a bastard?”

“It means bad man, Jake.” Brian said barely controlling his voice. “Jake where are you at?”

“In me and Katie’s room. She’s sleeping Brian. I’m scared.” 

“It’s okay I’m on my way. I want you to close the door and stay in there, okay? Don’t leave. And make sure Katie stays there too.” Brian climbed into the jeep and started the car. He’d call the police but they took at least 15 minutes to respond to a call on liberty and Brian could be there in 5. “Okay?”

“Okay…*sniffle*” Jake sat on the floor. “Okay.”

“Alright, I’ll see you in just a little while sonnyboy. Don’t go upstairs.”

“Okay.”

Brian dialed the police as he sped back to the apartment. 

“911, What’s your emergency?”

“My—uh—friend is at my home. His son just called me and told me that there is somebody there that is hurting him and there is blood on the floor. Justin was in an abusive relationship before and I have a feeling that this guy has come back.”

“Okay. Sir. What’s the address.”

As Brian blazed through an intersection he rattled off the address and once assured the police would be on their way he hung up. Two blocks. One block. Brian screeched to a halt in front of their building and jumped out and ran up the stairs. He got to the top and pulled open the loft door and stared at the site before him. Justin lay alone in a growing puddle of blood he was naked from the waist down and Brian's heart ached to think of what that meant. Brian’s heart jumped and he ran to Justin’s side. He checked Justin’s pulse and found that it was still there. He noticed foot prints running from the bloody mess toward the stairs.

“Noo…” Brian was up in a second and down the stairs, he crashed into a body coming up the stairs. The body fell down and rolled down the remaining stairs. He looked at the unconscious Ethan Gold who lay limp at the bottom of the stairs. Brian checked to make sure he was out and then went in search of the kids. He heard a faint “Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian” coming from the closet in the hallway followed by a quiet sob. Brian moved to the closet and opened the door to find Katie and Jake standing behind the winter coats. Jake held in his hand Justin’s cellphone. He pulled the children into an embrace and then made his way up the stairs with them and locked the door. Ethan had no way to get out.


	7. Family Guys: Part Two

Brian was pacing the hospital carrying a sleeping Jake in his arms and never walking to far from the private waiting room where Katie slept on a sofa under the watchful eye of a desperately concerned Daphne. Daphne had offered to make the phone calls to Justin’s mother in New York and to the ‘family’. They would be here soon. Brian walked to the doorway of Justin’s room and looked in on the beautiful blonde whose pale skin was now purpled and bandaged. He hadn’t gone in yet. He knew the minute he stepped through the doorway he would fall apart. And he had held it together so far. He turned away and wandered back to the waiting room, Daphne looked up at him. Her brown eyes brimming with tears. She sat on the sofa next to Katie and her hand was gently smoothing the golden brown hair. 

“Do you want me to take him, you’ve been carrying him for hours. He’s got to be getting heavy.” Daphne’s voice was detached almost as if it were coming from another person.

“He won’t let me put him down.” Brian said tiredly. Daphne stood and moved over to him holding her arms out.

“Here…”

Brian turned his body slightly and tentatively moved Jacob toward Daphne. His heart ached when he felt the small fingers tighten against his shirtsleeves and he started to pull away but Daphne stopped him.

“You need to go see him. Jake will be fine.” She gently pulled Jake toward her and the boy didn’t wake up. Brian sighed and moved toward the hallway glancing back to see Daphne settle back onto the couch with Jake in her arms. 

He walked slowly toward Justin’s room. He stood at the threshold for a long time staring at everything but Justin and trying not to hear the sound of the beeping machines that reminded him of Justin’s frailty. He stepped in and moved to the bed. He sat in the chair next to it and ran his hands gently down Justin’s arm. He felt his tears begin to fall and his fingers shook as they came to the bruises surrounding Justin’s wrists. Suddenly the pain of everything that had happened over the last 5 hours washed over him and the words that he hadn’t really heard when they were spoken seared in his thoughts.

Words like.

Coma.

Permanent Damage.

Memory loss.

HIV.

Brain began to sob violently and stood moving from Justin he leaned against a wall and tried to stop it all. He closed his eyes and held his breath wishing it would just be a bad dream but he opened his eyes and saw the most beautiful man in the world covered in some one else’s sin and he cried until Daphne came in and told him that the others where there. Brian steeled himself for the onslaught of questions. They knew Justin was living with him…but they didn’t know about everything.

\---  
As Brian stepped into the hall a running blonde boy who threw himself into Brian’s arms immediately attacked him. Brian held him close and he felt the little boy’s body shake.

“Why is daddy a stupid twink?” Brian’s body stilled and held Jacob out so he could see his face.

“What do you mean Jake?” Jake looked back toward the door of the waiting room and whispered to Brian.

“Mikey said so.” Anger flashed in Brian’s eyes.

“What did Mikey say?” his voice calm so as not to scare the boy.

“He says…I don’t know why Brian kept that stupid twink around…Katie could have gotten hurt.” Brian moved quickly to the room. Daphne was standing next to the door her face bright red tears trailing down her cheeks, fists clenched at her sides. Michael stood across the room holding a now awake Katie in his arms and ranting to Ted and Emmett who had arrived as well. 

“The man could have done god-knows-what to her and then what?” 

Brian handed Jacob to Daphne and moved quickly to the other side of the room. 

“I mean—the stupid kid probably didn’t even tell Brian about this psycho stalker…”

“Michael.”

Michael turned abruptly and flinched visibly at the anger that was present on Brian’s face. 

“Bri—I..”

“Give me my daughter. And get the fuck out of here. I thought you would be supportive when I needed you. But I don’t need you fucking insulting my boyfriend in front of our son—while he’s in there hooked up to machines just so he can keep breathing.”

“Boyfr—Brian you don’t do boyfriends…and that kid” Michael points to Jacob. “Isn’t yours…”

“Michael you are not my fucking keeper. Get the fuck out and stay away from my kids.” Brian turned angrily toward Ted and Emmett who were shaken by Brian’s outburst. “And if the two of you feel the same way you can fucking leave too.”

Emmett shook his head. “We love -- Sunshine!”

Brian reached out and took Katie from Michael and walked over to Daphne. Michael stood stunned and then stiffly walked out of the room. Jake held out his hands to Brian.

“Daphne, would you take the kids home? I need to stay…” Daphne nodded. “You can go to the loft….they have everything cleaned up now…”

“Okay.” Daphne picked up her purse and the kid’s carry along, and moved toward the door. Brian called over to Emmett.

“Emmett I’m going to walk Daphne to the car and then I’ll be back okay?” The two nodded. And Brian and Daphne moved outside.

Brian convinced Daphne to take the Jeep and as the were strapping the kids in Jacob began screaming and crying. 

“I can’t leave Daddy by hisself!” Jacob’s body was shaking and tears were running down his face. “T-the bad ma-ma-man will come get him!!”

Brain took Jacob and held him close rubbing circles in the little boy’s back. 

“Baby, the bad man is in jail. He’s not coming back—I promise you.” Jacob shook his head into Brian’s shirt and continued to cry. Brian sighed and then spoke to Daphne.

“Look, he can stay the night with me. Take Katie to the loft and will you pack a bag for me and Jake? I’ll have Emmett come and pick it up.”

“Okay.” Daphne kissed both Jake and Brian on the cheek got in the car and drove away. 

\---

Brian and Jacob washed and brushed their teeth in the small cramped bathroom that adjoined Justin’s room. Jacob sat on the sink in front of Brian his feet still touching Brian’s hips. Ever since Daphne had left Jacob had refused to be more than a few inches from Brian. Brian couldn’t even imagine what the little boy was thinking after seeing what he did. He made a mental note to talk to a psychiatrist in the morning. 

After they were finished Brian carried Jake into the other room and they climbed into the spare bed in the room. Brian lay on his side facing Jake whose blue eyes shone up at him. Their faces only a few inches apart, Brian gently kissed Jacob’s forehead and then looked at him again. The little boy raised his hand and gently patted Brian’s cheek. Then the small body wiggled and snuggled close to Brian who wrapped his arms around the little boy. As he was drifting he heard the small voice whisper into his chest.

“Briwan keep me safe.”


	8. Family Guys: Part Two

Jacob had screamed and cried and begged Brian not to leave him with the therapist. But Dr. Carlson had assured him that everything would be fine. Brian wiped away a stray tear and continued down the hall to meet with Justin’s Doctor. He passed Justin’s room and peered through the glass and caressed his blonde angel with his eyes. He begged the blonde with everything in his soul to wake up. But Justin didn’t move. He slept on; unaware of the torment Brian was feeling. He felt a heavy, strong hand on his shoulder, turned and met the face of Dr. Snyder. He sighed and followed as the 50ish man motioned for him to follow. They walked stride for stride until they came to Dr. Snyder’s office. 

Once inside they settled into their respective chairs. It had been 4 days and there was no sign of any improvement from Justin.

“The good news is that testing shows that there is no trace of the HIV virus in his system. The standard 6 month safe test applies but we’re pretty sure he’s okay in that respect.” Brian could here the man weighing his words from across the desk. “Mr. Kinney…” Brian took a deep breath before interrupting him. 

“Look, Doctor. I’m an Ad man. I sugar coat the truth for a living, so don’t try to soften the blow for me. Tell me straight up. Where does he stand?”

The doctor fixed his gaze on Brian’s hazel eyes and then nodded slightly. “Okay. Okay. We have no way of knowing exactly what kind of damage has been done. The initial testing that was done shows no internal bleeding, no clotting. We can judge fairly well that there was some detachment that occurred and that he may suffer from memory loss. But we can’t be sure what kind.”

“Meaning?” Brain questioned.

“Meaning that he could remember everything or he could remember nothing. He could remember only the time immediately surrounding the accident or he could remember everything but. He could potentially forget who he is and everybody he knows, including his son…including….”

“Including me.”

The doctor nodded solemnly. “Or he could be completely unaffected. We just don’t know.”

“And what about physical handicaps?”

“Depending on how serious the detachment is he could be paralyzed, or lose control of his speech, or movement of certain limbs. He may not be able to function under normal working conditions and he may be prone to develop mental disorders such as manic depression, sever schizophrenia. Again. We can’t be sure at this point.”

Brian sat straighter in his chair. “Forgive me if this comes off rude, Doctor. But you’ve spent the last 10 or so minutes telling me all of the things you don’t know. Is there anything that you do know?”

The doctor bit down on his lip slightly. “If he doesn’t come out of this after 14 days there is little chance that he ever will.”

There was an eerie silence that descended violently into the room and Brian lost all of his cocky arrogance. He sat and stared at the doctor—wishing he hadn’t heard what he knew he had. “And after the 14 days?”

“After that, some very serious decisions will have to be made by his next of kin.” Dr. Snyder stood and moved around the desk to stand in front of Brian. “Mr. Kinney, have you had any luck getting a hold of his mother and sister?”

“No. They’re in Africa working with some charity group. I’ve sent letters and telegrams to all of the locations Justin mentioned…but I’ve gotten nothing back…I…” Brian’s voice failed and so he stopped talking and just stared. He closed his eyes and pretended for a few minutes that none of this was real. 

\----

Brian opened the door one handed and led Jacob through into the loft. He smelled dinner cooking on the stove and heard the television playing. He felt the tension drain from his body and smiled calling out as he turned the corner. 

“Jus—” Brian stopped and his heart broke when he saw not Justin behind the stove but Daphne. And he hated himself for—that. Daphne looked up at him with pain in her eyes. It had been almost a week and a half and he had done that more than once. He let go of Jacob’s hand and was not surprised at all when the young boy immediately gripped the cloth of his pants. Brian walked slowly toward the Kitchen and then knelt down in front of the tiny blonde boy.

“Jake, baby, go downstairs and grab some clean clothes for tomorrow okay? And help Katie get ready for dinner.” Jacob gripped Brian’s shoulders tightly and Brian saw the refusal about to boil over in the little boy’s sad blue eyes. Brian cringed inwardly wishing that he could take that away. He pulled the little boy into a hug and whispered into his ear. “I’m not going to leave you here, Sunshine, I promise. Go and get Katie and we’ll eat and then go back to see Daddy.” 

Brian pulled away and wiped a tear from the little boy’s face before kissing his forehead. Jacob walked toward the stairs glancing back every so often to make sure that Brian didn’t disappear. Once Jacob had made it down the stairs Brian stood, his eyes catching momentarily on the rug that lie on the floor.

“Where’d this come from?” he asked Daphne still looking at the new rug.

“I bought it,” Her voice heavy with emotion. “I had to cover it up because—even though they cleaned it…if I looked I could see the…I could still see it.”

Brian looked at her and watched silently as she began to dish the food out and he went to help her set the table. They said nothing. There was nothing else to say. They had been doing this for almost two weeks. Daphne staying with Katie—taking her to school, Jacob and Brian coming back for dinner and then going back to the hospital. It was a sick routine, but it was the only way they could keep sane. Neither of them would admit it but they were both counting down the days till zero hour. 3 days. Justin had 3 days. Jennifer and Molly had responded just the day before and they were on their way home. They’d be back the day after the doctor’s two-week limit. And Brian silently wished she wouldn’t come at all. They couldn’t do anything if Jennifer never showed. 

“Dadee!” Katie yelled as she climbed the last few steps followed by Jacob. Brian leaned down and swept her into his arms. He held her tightly and then set her in her booster chair. Brian took his seat in between her and Jacob and they ate in silence. Under the table, Jake’s small hand gently rested on Brian’s thigh. 

After dinner Jake was in the bathtub and he helped Daphne clean the kitchen.

“What has the therapist said about Jacob?”

Brian put the last dish away and sat down on the sofa with a beer, Daphne joined him.

“She says that it’s not uncommon. And that he’s just afraid that I’m going to leave him. And that until Justin wakes up…or…” Brian couldn’t’ bring himself to say it. “She says it’s better to just keep him with me as much as possible. But to make him go by himself some places by himself occasionally. But not for long periods of time.”

Daphne nodded and took Brian’s hand when he sighed.

“It just tears me apart, Daph. Every time I leave he cries. Every time. And every time I tell him to go somewhere without me he holds on for that extra minute. And it just hurts to watch him try and convince himself that I won’t leave….” Brian drinks the remainder of the beer and slams the bottle on the table. “What if he doesn’t wake up? What if…what if…what if he dies?”

“Brian don’t…”

“I don’t think I could stand it. I don’t think I’d survive. And what about Jacob? What would happen to him?” Brian choked out. “I mean. I have no rights. Jen couldn’t take him she travels all the time. And what? He’d end up in foster care? I could lose them both in three days…three fucking days and I could lose almost everything.”

\---

It was Justin’s last “safe” day. And Brian was dying on the inside. There had been no change at all, nothing. Brian was trying not to feel hopeless as he stepped into the hospital room. It was late; Brian carried Jacob into the room that had become a second home. He put down their over-night bag and then moved over to Justin’s bed. The two looked down at Justin’s sleeping form.

“He’s beautiful isn’t he Jake?”

“Yea.” Jacob looked up at Brian. “Kinda ‘yike’ Sweepin Beauty?”

“Yeah. Just like sleeping beauty.” Brian smiled a little and kissed Jacob’s soft blonde hair.

“Maybe…maybe…” Jake looked thoughtful for a moment. “Maybe he is jus waitin’ for us to kiss him to wake up?”

Brian’s heart broke once again for this little boy. This little boy that he’d come to thin of as his own. “Maybe.”

“Me first!” and Jake wiggled onto Justin’s bed and placed a soft kiss on Justin’s lips. “Now you Brian. Now you kiss him.”

With tears in his eyes Brian leaned over and kissed his blonde angel for what he told himself wasn’t the last time. Jacob stared intently at his father and waited for the man to wake up. When nothing happened he turned his big blue eyes toward Brian and began to cry.

“He’s s’posed to wake up now.” Jake’s voice was equally as confused as it was scared. “He s’posed to be ‘kay now.”

Brian gathered the boy in his arms and carried him to the other bed. “Baby, maybe it will just take a little while longer. We just gotta let the kisses work their magic. He’s been sleeping for a long long time.”

Jacob sniffed loudly and looked up at Brian. “Yeah. Dey just gotta work their magic.”

They settled into the bed and Brian held Jacob close. Hating himself for giving the boy hope but not being able to tell him the truth. His eyes adjusted to the dark and he stared across at Justin who was bathed in moonlight that shone through the small window over his bed. He stared and prayed and begged. He was about to close his eyes and let sleep take him when he saw a sudden movement. It was small and quick. And for a minute he thought he had seen things.

But there it was again. Justin’s eyelashes fluttered for a brief second before returning to the closed position they had kept. Brian held his breathe and sat up slowly staring all the while on Justin’s eyes begging to see the shining blues. Flutter. Flutter. 

Suddenly there was a beeping noise from one of the machines and Brian was out of bed in a flash he was out in the hallway screaming at the top of his lungs.

“Somebody get a doctor! Now!” And the night nurse stared at him in shock for a moment before hastily grabbing the intercom and speaking into it.

“Dr. Snyder- please report immediately to Intensive Care Unit- room 401. Patient requires assistance….”


	9. Family Guys: Part Two

They had ushered him out the minute Dr. Snyder had come running down the hallway. He stood outside and watched through the observation window as the doctor and his nurse staff crowded around Justin. Begging to see something, to be able to see even Justin’s toe would have soothed him at least a little. But there they stood like a wall between Brian and his whole fucking life. They worked frantically doing---what? Brian couldn’t tell. He didn’t know. He had had the nurse call Daphne and she was in the waiting room with the kids. Brian felt the tears and looked at his reflection in the glass. Hair mussed, dark circles under his eyes that were now red from crying. He gently lifted his left hand and touched the glass. He watched as Dr. Snyder leaned over and whispered to a blonde nurse who turned and walked toward the door. 

“Brian…” the woman’s calm voice said and Brian looked toward her with more expectation than she deserved. “He’s awake.”

Brian fell against the glass and the wall. His whole body drained, unable to do anything but breathe. He wanted to jump, scream, laugh, cheer, anything. But he couldn’t—he felt like his whole heart had exploded. Brian regained his footing and moved toward the door but the Nurse stopped him with a gentle hand on his forearm.

“Brian…you can’t.” her small fingers smoothed across his skin lightly. “He’s unstable….in a few hours…”

Brian said nothing instead he nodded and turned away. He walked into the waiting room and looked at a crying Daphne. She stood, her eyes never leaving Brian’s. Brian nodded his head slightly and was immediately in her embrace. Daphne held him tight and he could feel her tears on his shoulder. Both of them shaking and crying and clutching each other, Brian was unsure at this point who was comforting who. He looked down when he felt a tug on his pant leg. Looking down into scared blue eyes he knelt and pulled Jacob into an embrace. 

“Our Sleeping Beauty woke up, baby.” Brian pulled away and was nearly blinded by the little boy’s smile.

“MAGIC WORKED!” Jacob’s smile broadened, if that was possible. “Jus ‘yike’ you said!”

They hugged and Brian stood with the boy in his arms. Daphne wrapped her arms around them both and they stood like that for a while. All of them filled with more happiness then they’d ever imagined they could feel.

\---

Brian blew a puff of smoke out and watched the twinkling lights of Pittsberg from the roof of Alleghany General. It was chilly but not cold and his shiver had nothing to do with the weather. Brian took another drag and sat down on the ledge his feet hanging over the edge, too inches from death Michael had said once, the night Gus was born. Gus. It almost didn’t hurt to think of him, he could almost smile when he imagined his little boy’s face. Brian put the cigarette out on the cement of the ledge and tipped forward ever so gently, wondering for a minute…what if.

“I wouldn’t lean over too far, Mr. Kinney” a startlingly familiar voice echoed in the quiet night. “You’ve got to much to lose.”

Brian smiled a little and then turned.

“You know, Blue Eyes, you’re not just supposed to be wandering about.” Brian took a few steps toward the blonde. “Especially in the middle of the night, with out your wheelchair.”

“Oh come off it. I can walk. I’m not a cripple.” Justin did a small dance move to prove his point.

“Oh I know. But Snyder’ll have my ass when he finds out you were up here on the fucking roof.”

Justin moved to Brain and let the taller man wrap him in his arms. He liked the warmth he found there.

“Fuck Snyder. Three days and he can’t tell me shit.” 

“You forget about physical therapy.” Brian’s voice was joking, but they both knew he was serious. Brian’s hand immediately found Justin’s right hand and began rubbing it absently.

“Fucking hand.” Justin felt the tears come to his eyes. “I’d be just fucking fine if it wasn’t for this hand.”

Brian said nothing. It wasn’t just the hand, but Justin wouldn’t talk about the nightmares. He never mentioned them—but Brian knew, and Justin knew Brian knew. Trying to win back that smile he kept things light.

“Well, at least your ambidextrous. Your art won’t suffer while you regain your strength.” Brian smiled into his words. “And just think of all the home therapy methods we could come up with.”

Brian trailed his hand down Justin’s chest and finally rested his palm on the swell in Justin’s jeans.

“Everything is about sex with you.” Justin laughed and was immediately brought into a deep kiss that left him breathless. 

Their faces only a few inches apart Justin could feel Brian’s warm breath on his lips as the older man spoke.

“Not everything, but you’re just so damn sexy.” At that Justin’s face lit up and Brian would have sworn he lit up the entire city. “Woah, there blue eyes, turn down the wattage a bit.”

They fell into a comfortable silence and stared out over the city. The traffic below was calming to them. And they both let themselves let go.

“What are you thinking, baby?” Justin couldn’t see the look on Brian’s face as he stood facing out toward the city, Brian pressed at his back, but he knew the man was thinking hard.

“Just that….” Brian started and then trailed off letting the silence between them rise up again.

“What?” Justin’s voice was soft.

“That it’s so amazing that you’re standing here, with me.” Brian said breathily. “Two months ago, I thought I’d never hold you again. The doctor told me that you might never come out of it, and if you did there could be some severe physical handicaps…and looking at you…standing here…I just keep thinking…”

Brian paused.

“…I keep thinking that you’re the strongest man I know.” Justin turned and cupped Brian’s face in his hands.

“It may take a strong man to over come the things that I have.” Justin said staring into deep hazel eyes. “But it takes a stronger man to watch me do it.”

Brian smiled slightly and placed a soft kiss on Justin’s lips. “You know what I was thinking?”

Justin smiled at Brian’s change of subject, the man would never accept his praise. “What?”

“That once the doc gives us the okay, we need to go out and celebrate.” Brian kissed Justin’s forehead.

“Oh yeah?” Justin raised an eyebrow. “What did you have in mind?”

“Dinner, Dancing…” Brian smirked. “And a little TLC”

Justin burst out laughing and ran his fingers all over Brian’s face. “Is this the real Brian Kinney?”

Brian stuck his tongue out at Justin and smiled. “You make me want to be a different kind of Brian Kinney.”

“Oh yeah? What kind?” Justin said still smiling.

“The happy kind.”


	10. Family Guys: Part Two

“JACOB!” Justin’s strangled cry cut through the silence of the loft. Brian was on his feet in an instant and rushed to their bedroom. He crawled across the bed and pulled Justin into his arms. 

“Baby, Baby. It’s a nightmare. Just a nightmare.” Brian spoke loudly hoping to bring Justin out of this one. He had failed before and at times spent nearly 30 minutes listening to Justin scream. The doctors told him there wasn’t anything he could do. And it killed Brian, it killed him inside. 

“Ethan, me. I’m here. Leave him alone! He’s just a baby.” Justin’s voice was frantic. “Ethan…I’ll give you whatever you want. I’ll do anything you want.” 

Tears streaked Brian’s face. It had been nearly a year. A fucking year. Justin refused to go to therapy, Brian rocked Justin and stroked the blonde hair gently praying that this would pass. Praying it would just go. He hated this, he hated Justin in pain. It had been almost two months since the last one, why now? Justin stopped crying out and his body calmed. Brian sat holding him, hating himself.

\---

Justin had just finished cleaning up dinner. Katie and Jake were downstairs playing and Brian had still not come home from work. He hadn’t called. And Justin was as worried as he was pissed. He had been calling Brian’s cell all night and had gotten only the voice mail. He finished in the kitchen and moved to his desk. He sat down and began sketching out a few ideas for his next line of work. His hand cramped after about an hour and as a result of the spasm there was a long dark stroke through three of his better sketches.

“FUCK!” Justin screamed and through the pencil across the room, he lay his head on the desk and sighed deeply. “Fucking hand, fucking Ethan. Goddammit.”

He flexed his palm and stood. He checked the clock 8:30. He moved downstairs to find Katie surrounded by a mass of Barbie dolls and her accessories and looked around for Jacob. He went into the Guest room they had converted into Jake’s own room and found the boy sitting at a small desk coloring. Justin smiled. 

“Jake, time for bed.” He said softly. The little boy looked up and smiled his blue eyes twinkling. “How about you go get Katie and help her brush her teeth.”

“’Kay, Daddy.” Jake got up and walked past Justin screaming for the little girl he called his sister.

“KATIE!” 

Justin moved into the little boy’s bedroom and picked up the picture. He almost burst into tears when he saw it. Four stick figures stood in front of a tall building smiling hugely. The two taller figures were holding hands. Suddenly, Jake came rushing back in. Justin went to the dresser and pulled out the boy’s Pajama’s.

“Put these on and I’ll be back after I tuck Katie in.”   
\---

Justin sat at the kitchen bar staring at the clock 12:05. He had been calling everywhere, trying to get an idea of where Brian was. Debbie said she hadn’t seen him with the other boys at dinner. Ben said Michael and he never showed at Woody’s for drinks. And Emmett “couldn’t be sure” if that was “really” Brian at Babylon at about 11:00. Justin looked at Jake’s drawing before pushing it away from him. He poured himself a 5th glass of vodka, he didn’t want to think. He didn’t want to have to think. He took the bottle with him as he headed up the stairs to their bedroom. He opened the closet and pulled out a shoebox he had started when he had first come to live with Brian. He looked over the pictures of him and Brian, Brian and Jake, himself and Katie, Katie and Jake, Katie and Jake and Brian, Brian and Debbie-Vic-Michael. All of them on Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter. All the pictures were of them smiling. Some people would say that these pictures were a visual account of their lives together for the past years. But they were wrong.

There was no picture of the times when Brian didn’t come home from work, when he didn’t call. Like tonight, Like Wednesday, and last Friday. There were no pictures of Brian when he came home too tired to do anything but shower. There was no picture of Katie and Jacob’s faces when he wasn’t at dinner, or missed the first little league game, or the second. There wasn’t a picture of Justin standing alone at the gallery waiting for Brian. There was no picture of Justin’s nights alone when Brian was away on one of his many business trips. There were no pictures of any of this. There wasn’t a picture of the difference in Brian after the attack, there was no picture of how different he was now. People don’t take pictures of the bad things. 

Justin was a little wobbly as he made his way into the bathroom. He sat on the edge of the tub holding the razor blade he had pulled out of his kit. The blade was stained with crusted paint. He used it to clean part of his canvases when he was painting. He stared at it and tried not to think of the beautiful babies sleeping downstairs. Grown men with two children to look after did not think about suicide. It was selfish. Justin’s thoughts were unclear, things were getting hazy. He slowly ran the edge of the blade against the soft flesh of his wrist. Applying only enough pressure to break the skin. Small dots of blood appeared in a line and Justin marveled at the color, and the pain. Justin brought the blade again across his pale skin just below the first mark. His nerves screamed in his head to no avail. Justin touched his finger to the blood that began to pool and brought it closer to his face. He was entranced. He didn’t hear the loft door bang open and shut. He didn’t hear the footsteps on their way down the stairs, back up or coming toward the bedroom. He didn’t see the man he loved stop dead at the entrance to the bathroom. He didn’t see the fear in the hazel eyes.

\---

Brian entered the loft prepared for the yelling, or screaming he knew Justin would give him. He wasn’t prepared for the silence. The light in the living room was still on and Brian moved to the kitchen/bar and found a half-empty glass of vodka and a picture of Jake’s. He looked at it and smiled. Brian moved toward the stairs. He checked in on Jake, and then Katie. He sat down on the bed. He looked at his beautiful daughter and barely resisted the urge to wake her up. He kissed her lightly and his heart ached. Things had been bad for the last few months. After all the time he took off after the accident, and then Justin’s attack…Brian had a lot to catch up on. He had been out of town a lot and he had been working late. He had missed so much, he missed his family. Things were calming down only a little and he hoped it would get better. He moved up toward his and Justin’s bedroom expecting to find the Blonde asleep in bed. His mind was racing with all the best ways to wake him up, and to make up for being so late, for missing dinner, for not calling. He entered the bedroom and was taken aback when he saw the bed was made. He moved toward the bathroom. His heart stopped when he saw Justin razor in hand, and the pooling red on his wrist. For a moment he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. And then as if on auto-pilot Brian’s body sprang into action. He rushed to Justin nearly tripping over the bottle of vodka on the floor. 

“JUSTIN!” Brian’s voice was hoarse. “Justin, please.” 

Brian knelt on the floor before him. Justin looked up and met Brian’s eyes. The razor fell to the floor.

“Bri—where…” Justin didn’t finish his sentence.

“Work, baby, I’m sorry.” Brian’s tears fell freely. “I’m so sorry…”

Brain grabbed the towel off the rack and gently wrapped it around his wrist.

“I—wasn’t…” Justin’s voice shook. “I—just—I wouldn’t do that to Jake, Katie, you.”

Brain picked up the razor and set it on the counter top before pulling the shaking Justin into his arms. “Why,baby? Why…”

“I miss you.” Justin whispered into Brian’s chest. And a wave of guilt washed over Brian. 

“I miss you, too.”

Brian felt Justin’s breathing even out and knew the man was asleep. He wondered when things had gotten so bad, and why he hadn’t noticed before. He wondered why he had let this happen. Mostly, he wondered how he was going to fix it.


	11. Family Guys: Part Two

Alright, ladies and gents. I know I've been MIA for awhile. First semester of college and all that jazz. But now I'm on winter break with nothing better to do with my time. So--here we go again. This chapter is short, kind of a test run to see if anybody stilll wants to read this. so hit me back with a comment if you like it and let me know if I should continue.

* * *

Brian woke up slowly and looked around. He had moved Justin and himself to the bed last night and the first thing he noticed was that the blonde was not curled at his side as usual. Instead, he was on the edge of his side of the bed with his back facing Brian. Brian sucked in a deep breath and again wondered when these things had changed. He glanced over at the clock, which read 5:25 AM. Brian quietly slipped out of bed and made his way to the bathroom. He showered quickly and then returned to the bedroom to dress. He pulled on a pair of jeans and a black wifebeater. He looked over at Justin who was still sleeping heavily and Brian figured he’d probably not be out for a few more hours seeing as he’d drained nearly half of the bottle of vodka. Brian went to the side of the bed and knelt down. Lightly running his fingers through the blonde hair Brian gently kissed his forehead. 

“I promise you, Blue Eyes, it’s going to change.” He closed his eyes pushing back tears. “It’s all going to change.” 

Brian stood and walked out into the kitchen. He had a few phone calls to make. The first number he dialed was received by a booming “Good Morning, Asshole.” 

“Deb…see I told you that Caller ID would be useful someday.” Brian tried to joke, but he failed. And there was a definite silence on the other end. 

“Brian…what’s…” Deb was just as loud but disticntly concerned. 

“I need a favor.”

After hanging up with Deb he grabbed the cordless and dialed Cynthia’s cell phone as he walked down to the lower floor. He went to Jake’s room first and began packing a bag of clothes and toys for him and then went to Katie’s room and did the same. All the while, delegating different things while Cynthia took notes. After that was finished, Brian took the bags upstairs and began making breakfast. Pancakes from a box and eggs. He served two plates and then went down to wake the kids. 

As he entered Jake’s room he found the boy already awake and sitting at his small desk drawing. Like father, like son. Brian stood in the doorway and watched for a minute before speaking.

“Hey sunshine, time for breakfast.” His voice was soft and Jake turned around a blinding smile on his face.

“Papa!” Jake launched himself at Brian and gave him a quick hug and then ran upstairs toward the food. Again, like father, like son. Brian moved over to Katie’s room and paused. He looked in on his beautiful angel sleeping soundly. He moved and knelt down next to the small bed. He gently shook her awake.

“Katie, baby. Time for breakfast.” Brian waited and slowly the little girl’s eyes fluttered open and he was graced with the greenest eyes he’d ever seen. A small smile played across her lips groggily. 

“Daddy…” She said as Brian lifted her out of bed. 

“Come on darlin, breakfast time. And then I’ve got a suprise to tell you and Jake.” At that the small girl wiggled her way down Brian’s body and took off running up the stairs yelling for Jake. 

Brian watched her go and then slowly made his way up the stairs, praying for the strength he was going to need to get through this.   
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Justin was still not awake when Deb came by to pick up the kids. Brian sent them both in to give him a quiet kiss and then sent them off with their Grandma. Deb sighed and looked toward the bedroom, knowing everything without even having to ask. 

“It may take longer than a week to fix this,” Deb began.

“I know…” Brian sighed, “But after this week, the kids have to be here too.”

Deb nodded and pulled Brian into a hug and then taking a small hand in each of her own and walking out the door. The kids screaming their good-byes and I love you’s as they went. 

Brian began what in his mind had to be the first step. He went to the cabinent where they kept the liquoir and pulled everything but the wine and champagne out. He poured all of it down the sink. He opened the refridgerator and opened the butter compartment taking out what was left of his and Justin’s “on occasion” stash of E and took it to the bathroom to flush it. He picked up the razor he had found Justin with last night and carried it to the kitchen. He set it on the bar and stared at it for awhile. He poured himself a cup of coffee went to the living room and turned on the T.V. and waited for Justin to wake up.


	12. Family Guys: Part Two

Brian could hear the sounds of Justin waking from the living room. His whole body tensed and he felt his heart break as the reality of everything hit him. Justin moved from the bed to the bathroom and Brian moved to the kitchen he poured a cup of coffee for him and one for Justin. He sat Justin's cup on the opposite side of the kitchen island and leaving the offending razor where it lay he stood waiting for Justin to come from the bathroom. He heard Justin before he saw him and he closed his eyes as he heard the blonde descend the stairs to the living room. 

"Hey...where are the kids?" Just said cautiously as eh moved toward the counter and sat down taking the cup of coffee Brian had poured him, that's when his eyes fell on the blade. He paused with the cup halfway to his mouth.

"They're with Deb. She picked them up early this morning." Brian took a gulp of te coffee not caring as it scalded his tongue and throat. "We need to talk."

Justin takes a drink and without looking at Brian he speaks. "When do we have to pick them up?"

"Next Tuesday." Brian's voice is laced with a pain that hits Justin deep.

"I...Why?" Justin chokes out.

"We need to talk."

Justin stands although he's not sure why and moves quickly to the bedroom. Speaking as he goes. "Dammit Brian we can't just dump our children off on Deb for a fucking week...just because..." He isn't sure where the anger is coming from but he lets it go anyway.

"Just because you tried to kill yourself?" Brian's tone is direct and Justin flinches. "Justin..."

Justin turns to look at him. Brian hasn't moved from where he stood before. And Justin looks at him for the first time, really looks at him. Lines he'd never noticed surround the hazel eyes, and in those eyes Justin sees something that makes his breath catch. Before him, Brian Kinney stands defeated. 

" We need to talk." Barely audible and broken with emotion, Brian's words are a plea now more than anything. He continues. "I can't do this anymore. And I know you can't either.

Justin moves toward him and Brian makes his way around the isalnd. "We just can't go on like this or there will be nothing left of us.

Justin moves forward until he is merely a few feet from Brian, his eyes filling with tears.

"I...I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I've been working so much. I'm sorry for all the times I never called. I'm sorry for not being the man that I should have been. It just got so hard. It was hard to come home to you and the kids. To come here and see you and them and try and pretend like this is okay. Everytime I come home I still, after all this time, I still expect Gus to come running up to me. I keep expecting him to be here. He's touched everything in this house, he's everywhere. And I miss him, Justin." Tears are falling from Brian's eyes and he doesn't bother to wipe them away. "I miss him so damn much."

Justin moves and takes Brian in his arms. Brian lets Justin to hold him, gently laying his head on the shorter man's and taking a deep breath.

"And so I started staying away. Spending as much time away as possible. Not because of you, and not because of the kids. But because he's still here. HE will always be here." A deep breath. "And so, I decided that I think...it's time we find somewhere of our own. It's time we make our own memories."

Justin nods into the embrace his own tears flowing freely now. "I'm so sorry Brian. I'm so sorry."

"I know, baby, I know." Brian sighs, "Things are going to change." Brian pulls away from the blonde to look into his eyes. "You'll see, Blue Eyes, things are going to change I promise you that."

Justin looks into Brian's eyes and there is a surety there, the same surety tht he feels seeping into his system. Suddenly, it all seems so overwhelming and he remembers the intensity of last night and the things he never intended and he looks away. Only for a moment and then he feels Brian's fingers on his chin, once again blue eyes clash with hazel. They are quiet for a moment and then Brian gently presses his lips to Justin's, softly at first and then more aggressively. Brian's hands find their way and tangle int to Justin's soft blonde hair. Justin opens his mouth and gives Brian's searching tongue entry. And he tastes so good, and it's been too long. His fingers find their way to and under the tank top the taller man is wearing and pushes it up. THey break the kiss long enough for Brian to slip the shirt off. Brian's fingers are exploring Justin's bare chest and they continue to kiss as they back toward the bedroom. As they reach the stairs Justin turns holding Brian's hand and they take the three steps quickly. As they reach the bed, Justin has begun to unzip Brian's pans and he steps out of them and falls to the bed dragging the blonde with him. Brian rids Justin of his sweatpants and underwear and begins his torturous exploration of Justin's body. But Justin stops him, pulls him up for a devastating kiss.

Breathless he says, "It's been too long." He reaches for a condom and the lube and moves to prepare Brian when the man takes it from him. Brian kisses him again and then opens the wrapper and unrolls the condom on Justin, who looks at him with questioning eyes.

"I need you." Brian's voice is quiet, shy.

Justin gently pushes Brian onto his back and kisses him while squeezing a large amount of lube onto his fingers. One hand gently rubbing circles on Brian's stomach, Justin watches Brian's eyes as he gently pushes one finger in, then another. Brian sucks in a breath and Justin covers Brian's lips with his own.

"How long has it been?" he asks.

"Not since my frist time." Justin can hear the vulnerability in his tone and kisses him again. He works his fingers in and out for a while, opening the man up for him. Justin intertwines the fingers of his free hand with Brian's Brian's breath is coming in short spurts now.

"Oh god, Justin." Brian closes his eyes and lets the feelings overwhelm him and then opens them to find Justin watching him closely.

"Are you ready baby?" Brian nods as he arches his back. Justin removes his fingers completely and prepares himself. He pulls Brian closer to him and positions himself at the tight entrance. He kisses brian deeply as he sloly pushe himself in. Brian pulls away with a gasp as his body adjusts, Justin keeps moving slowly. Brian bites down as Justin fills him, his width almost more than Brian's body can take. Brian's hands fly to Justin's hips and still him for a minute. He breathes.

"You okay?" Justin asks with a strained whisper filled with concern, he was barely halfway there; maybe this wasn't a good idea. He searches Brian's face and kisses a small tear that has escaped. Brian takes a deep breath and nods. 

"It's just been...a long time. I need...I need you to just push all the way..." He's lsightly ashamed, but he wants this, god, but he wants this.

"Bri--I..." Brian interrupts before he can finish.

"I need you inside me, please..." Brian pushes slightly against Justin, who lets out a long breath. ONce agan Justin takes Brian's hand, and Brian squeezes it tight. Justin takes a deep breath and then pushes all the way in. Brina's hand tightens further as he lets out a grunt. Justin stills himself giving him time to adjustand kisses Brian his tongue tracing his lower lip. They lie for a few mintues just kissing. Once Justin feels Brian move against him he begins to pull out. At first he uses short shallow strokes and Brian groans his long legs wrapped around Justin's waist urging him on.

"Fuck, Brian, your so tight..." He pulls nearly all theway out before pushing all the way again. "So, beautiful."

"Jus...I need...harder." Brian gasps out, he was amazed by the intensity of it.

"I ...don't want to...hurt you..." Justin's strokes get a little bit faster.

"Fuck me, baby. hard." Brian is nearly shouting.

Justin bites his lip and pulls out again, almost completely, and then slams his body as deep as he can. OVer and over he pulls out and pushes back in with Brian writhing against him.

"Yes, harder, baby." Brian's words are so airy they're barely audible.

Justin's strokes quicken to a nearly brutal pace and he feels himself coming close to the edge. He pushes in and out harder eyber time. Brian's hands grip Justin's hips tightly pushing the blonde against his bodde harder and harder. The pain he feels with the roughness of it all is muted by the extreme ecstacy of their connection. Justin is pushing against him with abandon now. They're both so close. THe roughness intensifies as Justin slams himself impossibly deeper with every stroke and Brian cries out. Justin reaches for Brian's straining harness and wraps his hand around it. He strokes Brian in time with his thrusts and suddenly he feels himself falling, crashing really, with one last deep thrust he and Brian come together. Justin collapses on top of Brian's chest. For a moment, there is only the sound of their heavy breathing coming from the two of them and then Justin moves and slowly pulls himself out, with a hiss from Brian and removes the condom tying of and discarding it. He lies back down and feels Brian pulling him closer. They lie in silence for a moemnt more.

"Are you okay?" Justin whispers, he can still hear Brian's tense breathing in his ear and he turns to face him as Brian pulls him closer and kisses him.

"I'm fine," he laughs a little. "I'll be a little sore for a bit, but.. fuck that was amazing. YOu were amazing." Justin sighs and kisses him again. "I can't believe I waited this long to let you top...I mean damn..."

The both laugh and drift off to sleep, watching each other's eyes.


	13. Family Guys: Part Two

Brian is the first to wake to the sound of the banging on the loft door. He gets up a little fast and then regrets it. He moves to the dresser and pulls out a pair of jeans before changing his mand and grabbing a pair of sweatpants instead. He glances over at the bed to find Justin sitting up with a satiated smile on his face. 

“Well, good morning, beautiful.” Justin’s waking up voice has always gotten him into trouble but before Brian can answer there is a banging at the door again. Brian smiles.

“Why don’t you order us some take-out, Thai maybe?” Justin nods and Brian heads out to get the door as Justin pulls on his own discarded sweat pants. 

Brian pulls open the door to find an annoyed Cynthia on the other side.

“Jesus Christ, Brian. I’ve been out here for 10 minutes.” She looks Brian over and then rolls her eyes. “Anyway, I have everything you wanted.”

Brian motions for her to come in. HE pulls a chair out for her at the dining table and then sits down himself wincing as his ass comes into contact with the hard chair. Justin hangs up the phone and moves to where Brian is sitting kissing him on the head he smiles at Cynthia and says hello.

“Thai, 20 minutes. I’m going to shower. Total is 21.35” Brian nods and Justin saunters to the bathroom. Brian watchess him go and then turns back to Cynthia who has a smug smile on her face.

“Brian Kinney—I never would have thought..” Cynthia stops when she sees the death stare

“Jesus Christ, Brian. I’ve been out here for 10 minutes.” She looks Brian over and then rolls her eyes. “Anyway, I have everything you wanted.”

Brian motions for her to come in. HE pulls a chair out for her at the dining table and then sits down himself wincing as his ass comes into contact with the hard chair. Justin hangs up the phone and moves to where Brian is sitting kissing him on the head he smiles at Cynthia and says hello.

“Thai, 20 minutes. I’m going to shower. Total is 21.35” Brian nods and Justin saunters to the bathroom. Brian watchess him go and then turns back to Cynthia who has a smug smile on her face.

“Brian Kinney—I never would have thought..” Cynthia stops when she sees the death stare Brian is throwing her way. “Right, well. I went by the realtor and picked up the files that matched what you wanted. There are four here to choose from. Also, stopped by Todd’s office and picked up the legal documents you wanted. Everything is here.”

“Great. Thanks.” Brian thumbs through a couple of the folders Cynthia had handed him.

“You need anything else boss?” Cynthia asks.

“No, I think that’s it.” Brian states, “ I trust you and Ted can handle things until I come back?”

Cynthia nods “We’ll be fine.” She stands and so does Brian, slowly. They move to the door and Brian opens it for her. She steps out and Brian says under his breath.

“One word of this and you’re fired.” His voice is only half as serious as it probably should have been.

“You can’t fire me, you love me.” She winks and disappears down the stairs.

“Fucking women.” Brian closes the door and enters the bathroom to find Justin stepping out of the shower. 

“There’s money on the counter I’ll be out in a few minutes.” Justin nods, dries his hair and goes to get dressed. A few minutes later there is a knock at the door, he pays the deliveryman and dishes out their food. He grabs two beers from the fridge and hands one to Brian as he comes to sit down. They eat in silence for a few minutes, Justin trying to figure out if he’s allowed to be hurt by Brian bringing his work home and Brian trying to think if he’d made the right decision.

“I had Cynthia look up soe houses we could look at. All of these meet with our basic needs, are within our price range, and are up for immediate sale.” Brian watched Justin mull that over and forked more food into his mouth. 

“What are our basic needs?” Justin said humorous, curious. 

“Ah, well at least 4 bedrooms, 2 plus baths, a studio space, and an office space. As well as two car garage.” Brian spit out and looked away.

“Jesus, Brian. How can we afford that?” Justin had stopped eating, not a good sign in Brian’s eyes.

“I live well, but I also live smart. I have been saving a lot since I started work when I was 15.” Brian continued nonchalantly. “And before you say anything, yes, the money was intended for Gus and Katie for college, but…” Brian takes a deep breath before continuing. “With the money that came from…the insurance, there is pletnty to cover both Katie…and Jake.”

“And this is what you want?” Brian heard Justin compromise, he knew he’d be hearing about the college fund eventually but give it a few years, or months at least.

“No. This is what I need.” Brian said. “You’re what I want.” Brian said quietly.

“These are…” Justin began.

“Power of Attorney, Division of Assets, Insurance, Revision of Living Will, Adoptive Parent Documents.”Brian didn’t look up, his fingers becoming suddenly interesting.

“Adoptive…” Justin stared.

“Like I said, what I need…” but Justin finished for him.

“To get what you want.”

Brian nodded and then found his arms suddenly filled with a sloppy kissing, blonde boy.


	14. Family Guys: Part Two

It was 9:00 and they were dressed, fed and prepared for a long day of house viewing. Justin had looked through all of the files and narrowed it down to 10 he wanted to see. Brian had been allowed to eliminate 3 of those. Their last showing was at 9:30 this evening. Brian wanted a cigarette just thinking about it. 

They drove to the house, which surprisingly wasn’t far from the loft. It was still in the Liberty area, only it was in a more residential area. As they drove through the neighborhood Brian watched Daddies and Mommies play with their respective children and thought that he could handle this, he really could. 

When the pulled up outside the house, Justin checked twice to make sure they were in the right place. It would be safe to say that the photo did not do this place justice. The house was beautiful from the outside, brick exterior huge windows and a large front yard. There was a black BMW parked in the driveway and well-dressed man leaning against it. He stood and moved toward them extending his hand.

“Mr. Kinney and Mr. Taylor. I am Jet Michaels. And this, is your new home.” He added a wink and then smoothly added; “Only kidding. Come on in boys, let me show you around.”

The walked into the entryway and preceded on auto-pilot as Jet outlined the spacious living room, redwood stair case, expansive kitchen with newly installed everything because as he put it “the last owners were ‘chic’ gay.” then he showed two rooms connected by a sliding door one of which was graced with a entire wall of plate glass windows and a generous amount of floor space, the connected room was as bright but slightly less window dominant. 

“These two rooms were created for the former owner’s lovely partner, who had his own art dealership operating from here, he painted, he sold, and apparently had plenty of pleasure mixed with his business.” A wink. “ All the wiring for a business office is already installed in here. So I think that covers your studio and office requirements quite nicely. On to the upstairs?” 

He showed them around three surprisingly large, “smaller” bedrooms two of which were connected by a bathroom. Then he showed the master suite, which of course had it’s own bathroom, to full walk-in closets and was about the size of two “smaller” bedrooms combined. Jet briefly showed them the Attic, which could be reached by a pull down door located in the hallway, and then around the basement, which had enough space for a second living room that attached to the two-car garage. He brought the boys to the backyard for the final sight. The backyard was large, but not enough so that it would be difficult to manage there sat a small tool shed near the edge of the finely clipped, fenced in area. 

“So, boys. Here it is. A gay boy’s fantasy home abandoned because of a boy toy’s crank addiction and inability to keep it in his pants. I’m sure this house would love some happy memories.” They began walking around to the front and the wheels in Justin’s head were turning so fast Brian could hear them. “So I’ll leave you two here for a minute to discuss if you want to take this one further or move on, while I lock up.”

The minute Jet left, Justin nearly screamed at Brian. “This is it!”

“We can’t just buy the first house we see.” Brian scoffed, although…

“Come on, baby, it’s perfect. It has everything we need…” As Justin spoke Brian wondered why his own words always came back to bite him in the ass. “So we can have what we want.” Brian rolled his eyes but Justin continued. “Plus if we buy it now…we can start christening it sooner.”

Brian raised his eyebrows and called over to Jet who had just stepped out onto the patio. “We’ll take it.”


	15. Family Guys: Part Two

Sorry I've been MIA for so long. Here's another chapter....let me know if you're still interested in this story continuing. I've been thinking over some major drama for the upcoming chapters. This is the final chapter in this installment...let me know if you'd like a third. PS: I have no beta sorry for the spelling/grammar mistakes. They are mine and mine alone.

* * *

The paper work had all been filled out by that afternoon and they held the keys to their new home. They had gone by Deb’s to check on the kids, but weren’t there very long before Deb ushered them out claiming that they were “taking up Grandma time.” The boys went home and decided that a night of celebration was in order. They dressed and headed to Babylon. It’d been nearly a year since either of them had been to the club and it was as if they were royalty returning from a trip abroad. All eyes were on them as they made their way to the bar. Brian looked around the club and spotted the old gang hanging out on one of the balconies. The gang had changed. Ever since the Accident Brian hadn’t bothered to really stay in touch. His life had been altered dramatically and clubbing was no longer a necessity. The boys could never understand that, they could never bear to see him grow up. They couldn’t see him as a family man. He had it hard enough trying to convince himself that he could do it, let alone trying to convince others. He stared for a long time, though, and he realized that he missed them. He contemplated going over to say hello when Justin tapped his shoulder and handed him a beer. 

“What you thinking about?” Justin’s voice was serious, but light.

“See those guys?” Brian pointed in the direction of the gang, “They were…we used to be really good friends, back when this was my stomping ground.”

“Bridges that burned?” Justin asked.

“No, just a path that doesn’t take me where I need to go.” Brian kissed him chastely.

“Ah…” Brian inwardly cringed. He knew Justin was scheming. “Maybe…”

“No.” 

“Brian…”

“Justin…look…” Justin waved off Brian’s comment.

“Look, Kinney. Tonight is about celebrations. About new starts and second chances. Why not give them a second chance?”

Brian just stared at Justin. The kid was too smart for his own good.

“All right, all right. Lets dance first and then we’ll see.”

The boys made their way to the dance floor and were soon lost in the rythym. After a few dances Brian felt a poke in his side and looked up to find Justin’s eyes telling him he wasn’t going to get out of this. Brian let out a long labored sigh and then nodded. He took Justin’s hand as they made their way through the crowd and up to the balcony. The boys were scattered across two couches. The group had expanded in Brian’s absence to include beaus of all three men. Michael was the first to say anything.

“Well. The asshole returns…” Mikey’s tone wasn’t mean, but it was angry, bitter. Brian just stared at the men, and barely caught Justin as he stepped forward.

“Who the hell do you think you—” Brian barely caught his arm before he was in a full on tirade and pulled him back against his chest. 

“It’s all right, blue eyes, he’s only kidding, old habits die hard.” Brian looked around at the group. “Justin…this is Mikey, his boyfriend Ben, Emmett, and…”

As Brian trailed off Emmett spoke up. “Oh! This is Alex...” he said pointing to a small redhead next to him. 

Brian nodded. “And that’s Theodore and Blake.”

There was a chorus of hellos and then a small silence. Mikey fidgeted. “And who the hell is the twink?”

Brian smirked. “Oh you mean the gorgeous blonde man in my arms. Justin Taylor. My partner.”

“Your….”

“Exactly.”

Silence, again. Brian kissed the top of Justin’s head and smiled into his hair. Emmett looked around and then jumped up with all the energy of a five year old.

“Well, aren’t you a doll! Absolutely gorgeous. Yep. It’s about time somebody got the stud to settle down.” 

Emmett continued to chat away as he led Justin and Brian to the couch next to him and Alex. Brian relaxed satisfied to simply watch the expressions on Justin’s face as Emmett regaled him with the stories of Brian Kinney. They stayed for a bit, no explanations were given, no questions were asked. Justin told stories about Brian playing hide-n-seek and everyone ate it up. Brian forgot entirely how to care about his reputation. After awhile, they headed back home. They had to be up early to start packing. 

\----

It was not quite eight in the morning when Brian awoke to Justin’s not-so-subtle hint. Pop music blared loudly through the loft and Brian stumbled out into the living room. He could only glimpse a brief flash of blonde hair in between the stacks of boxes. The living room looked…empty. Brian smiled and wandered through the disaster trying to find his lover.

“Justin?” Brian stumbles and nearly topples a stack of boxes over. “Jesus Christ…how long have you been up?”

From somewhere in the jungle Justin replies, “Since about five.” Brian is not surprised. Justin stands and Brian is treated to a beaming smile. 

“I’m almost done in here.” Justin leans down to write Movies and Cds in elegant lettering on a box. “Why don’t you shower, get dressed and then come help me?” 

Brian nods and then makes his way to the bathroom on his way turning the volume down on the music. A few minutes later when he’s in the shower he hears the volume go back up and laughs out loud to himself. 

\---

The last box is unloaded by the delivery men and the van drives off. Brian saunters into his new home and sets a box labeled “Brian’s Toys” on it on the ground. Dirty thoughts get the better of him and he opens it and peeks inside. He laughs louder than he thought possible when he opens it to find his poetry books, journal, his cowry shell bracelet, 7 pairs of designer sunglasses and other random items. 

“Not what you were expecting?” There is laughter in Justin’s voice. 

“With you, I’ve learned that expectation is a severe handicap.” Brian turns to find Justin leaning against the doorframe of the living room wiping his hands with a dishtowel. 

“Dinner’s on, the kitchen is unpacked and the boys’ room too.” Justin turns to walk away but Brian catches him, spins him around and lightly kisses his lips. 

“You’re so beautiful when you get all domestic on me.” Justin laughs and playfully hits him with the towel. 

“Yeah, well. It’s your turn. Bathrooms, Living room, and downstairs.” Justin disappears around the corner.

“Oh so, you left all the hard stuff for me.” Justin’s laughter echoes off the walls. Brian smiles.

\---

After carrying all the toys to the kid’s playroom and putting together an ungodly amount of toy boxes, and toy sets. Brian is satisfied. The colorful room makes him happy, like the living room in the loft did. Justin and Brian had decided to hire a company to decorate and place furniture. One wall of the room had a painted chalk board wall. And a box of side walk chalk lay on the small table next to it. Brian walked over and opened the box. Picking out his colors carefully Brian got to work. 

\---

Justin dished out dinner and then went in search of Brian. He walked through their new home and loved the way it felt. Everything was coming together. Still there were things to be done, but it felt like a home. It felt like…safety. Justin came to the basement door and opened it. As he made his way down the stairs he heard the tap of chalk on the wall and he smiled almost shyly to himself. He walked carefully, trying not to make much noise and came to a halt on the third step. He wanted to cry it was so beautiful. There stood a man, who at one point was considered to not have a heart, to not care for anyone but himself, dressed in Armani covered in sidewalk chalk. He had streaks of blue, black, brown and nearly every other color smeared on his face and arms and was working studiously with a yellow piece of chalk filling in the hair on a stick figure. The picture was to Justin, the most beautiful piece of art ever created. It was the new house, careful yet unsure lines, elementary lines bringing it into focus. And on the front lawn were four stick figures. The tallest one, with brown hair, green eyes and holding the hand of a shorter yellow-haired, blue-eyed, stick figure, out before them as they would be in a portrait were a smaller version of the tall figure, and the smallest a boy who’s yellow-hair was just being finished. Justin stared his hand covering his lips, tears in his eyes. And Brian turned. At first startled and then a guilty overpass in his eyes. He brought his bottom lip into his mouth he looked down at his feet and put the chalk away. Justin made his way toward his partner and his heart hurt when Brian flinched. It was minimal, a learned trait, but it was there. And Justin could only imagine what else this small auburn haired boy had never been allowed to do.

Justin stepped forward reached up and put his fingers around Brian’s neck. He pulled him down until their foreheads were touching and then, and only then, did Brian meet his eyes. 

“I love you, more every second I’m with you.” Brian smiled a little at that.

“Who wouldn’t.” It wasn’t cocky. It was just…so Brian. And Justin kissed him. 

“Dinner’s ready.” He took Brian’s hand and led him up the stairs.

\---

Tuesday afternoon, Justin was about ready to murder Brian, although lovingly. 

“Brian, Come ON! We have to get the kids by 3. Deb has plans.” Justin stood at the door tapping his foot. Upstairs he could hear Brian trapsing about, and could imagine him moving things around. Brian had been obessed with making everything perfect for the kids’ arrival. He wanted everything to be right. And with Brian, Justin had learned, perfect really did mean every little thing. 

“BRIAN! I’m going to leave you here.” Ah, footsteps in his direction. Finally Brian appeared on the stairs and they left with Brian muttering something about “picture frames being crooked.”


End file.
